"Faerie Time"

I got a story for you folks. Now this happened a few thousand years ago when America was great, and even regular Joe’s had jobs, dough, and laff’s.

Well one night in this long ago happy time I was sitting next to my dad on the front seat of our old Buick.

A 1958 sky blue, and white two tone Buick. A classic! I’d give anything to have one of them today. Well anyway, as is the habit of kids everywhere I was squinting my eyes to make the passing street lights look weird. I had just begun to do the same with the tail lights ahead of us when I see something.

Wow that’s a big bug I thought. Only when I stopped squinting it wasn’t. A bug that is. It wasn’t tinker bell either.

Ya’know whole generations of rubes got real wacky ideas of what faeries look like ’cause of all the Disney propaganda.

Thing is faerie’s is just like folks.

Just alot smaller,..with wings,.. and feelers, sometimes extra arms’n stuff, magical powers, eh halos, and… Well okay faerie’s ain’t like folks at all, but so what.

Well there I am sit’n next to the old man as we’re roll’n through Queens on our way back to Brooklyn, and there’s these little faerie guys darting around the tail lights of the Oldsmobile in front of us.

Hey, com’on ya can’t make this stuff up.

Now ya’see by this time I’m an ‘experienced’ kid, and know better than to tell my dad that I’m seen’n glow’n bug people buzz’n around the butt-end of the car in front of us. Hey gimme some credit.

I still remember the shit storm from one of my previous visions.

I foolishly told my folks that I saw flaming bat winged demons flying out of an open manhole on Flatbush avenue.

My mom made me kneel on a steel rod while I said the rosary ten times over for being in league with Satan. Heck I never even met the guy.

Sooo, I keeps my young trap shut, and enjoys the doing’s of the wee folk in front of us. If dad saw anything he wasn’t about to tell me. He knew better too. Still they was fun to watch, and they meant no harm.

Not like that seriously scary furry sky-monster-thing. Ya know the one on that famous “Twilight Zone” episode w/the pre-”Trek’ Shantner. The hairy bastard, not Shantner, just floats in the air chase’n after airplanes. When he catches one he rips their engines apart so they crash.

Remember that one? Forty years later it still scares the crap out’a me! Rod you was one swell genius!

“Yes very interesting”, I hear you say, “but Uncle Sidney what the hell are you getting at with all this?”

Ah, I’m glad you asked! See with the warmer weather coming we has to prepare for “Faerie Time!”

As we know from tradition handed down from kid, to kid. Generation to generation, like the varied rules of stick ball or ring-a-leave-vee-oh, or ring something. It varies from block to block around the world, but you know what I mean.

Like “Ring Around the Rosy” passed from kid to kid for nearly a thousand years. The knowledge of “Faerie Time” in the same way has come to the 21st century.

Come June 21st at midnight, on that ‘Longest Day’ all “Faeriedom” awakes! They pops out of their hidey holes,and begins their summer frolics! Which is to say it’s their mating, and general screwing around w/humanity season.

They never hurt anybody. ‘Least not on purpose.

One thing though don’t rob or try messing with them. These guys don’t kid around. They may be seriously cute,..some of them, but they have poisoned thorns.

Get my drift?

Otherwise we’re all welcome to dance the summer away with them. That business about them abducting folks for years is crap told by the Church, and the CIA.

They don’t do that,..the demons on the other hand. ‘Word to da wise,..stay clear of them evil guys.

“Faerie Time” is real. My older cousins told me, and I told my special friends at school, and they told their friends, and so, and so, and so through the years, and generations, and ages to come.

An unbroken tradition from kid to kid.

When I was little I danced in a faerie circle with the sweet wee folk by the light of a full moon in Prospect Park. Then again on warm steamy night in Central Park when I was a happily crazed’n horny teenager.

Now in my demented pissed off late middle years I still hear their songs.

Bless the little fuckers!


“Stay Tuned”